If someone opens up to you and tells you they are impacted by Domestic and Family Violence, it will be a very difficult conversation for them – they are likely to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.

Check out this video for some great tips and advice.

We ask you to follow this advice when talking with them:

Understand the gravity of the situation – the impacts of Domestic and Family Violence are significant and can have long term effects across a person’s life. These effects may lead to changes in their world. So please recognise these impacts in your conversations.

Find a discreet location for the conversation and assure them of confidentiality. Take them for a walk around the restaurant or have a chat in an area where others can’t listen in to the conversation.

Be gentle – this is a very tough situation for the person who is impacted.

Be attentive – give them your full attention.

Believe them – often people don’t come forward to talk about Domestic and Family Violence for fear they will not be believed. Your faith in them is important.

If you suspect someone is impacted by Domestic and Family Violence, start the conversation in a gentle and general manner, that will give them the choice to share their situation with you if they want to. A good question, to begin with, is “I’ve noticed you seem a bit different lately – are you OK?”

If someone opens up to you about being impacted by Domestic and Family Violence, their safety and wellbeing are paramount. Please ask “Are you safe?”

It is important that the person who is impacted by Domestic and Family Violence is empowered to seek the type and amount of support they need. So, ask them general questions that enable them to decide how they are supported “How can I help?” Or “what do you need from me?” And then respect the person to make their own decisions.

Let them know the process from here and invite HR into the conversation.

Don’t try to be a counsellor or tell them what to do – please refer them to a specialist provider such as 1800 RESPECT.

Please refrain from judging them about their situation.

Ask if they need support with their workload and then create an action plan if they need to adjust their duties for a period whilst they navigate their Domestic and Family Violence situation.

Organise regular check-ins to make sure you can support them on an ongoing basis and monitor any changes to their situation. Check you have their correct contact details to ensure you can reach them for these check-ins.

We understand that it can be confronting and difficult to support someone who is impacted by Domestic and Family Violence, and we want to support you during this time.

Our EAP provider AccessEAP is available for free and confidential advice.
They can be contacted 24/7 on 1800 818 728 or book an appointment online. You can also contact 1800 RESPECT www.1800respect.org.au These specialist counsellors also provide support and guidance.

It is important that a person who is impacted by Domestic and Family Violence or is using violence receives support from specialist services who have the experience, skills and insights to address this complex situation.

To find a specialist support service in your local area.

There are also FREE Apps available:

• • Daisy – A free app that connects people around Australia to services providing support for the impacts of sexual assault and family and domestic violence.
  • Sunny – Sunny is 1800RESPECT’s free app for women with disability who have experienced violence and abuse. Sunny has been co-designed with women with disability to make sure it provides the very best support for the people who use it.
  • Be there – A free app that gives you direct access to tools that empower, educate and support you to help someone who is experiencing domestic or family violence.

A part of our response to Domestic and Family Violence is ensuring our leaders model respectful behaviour and lead the way in the stand against Domestic and Family Violence. This includes:

Be aware and know the facts – take time to understand Domestic and Family Violence, the impacts, warning signs and how to have a conversation with someone who is impacted. This will enable you to take an informed and compassionate approach to someone who is impacted.

Shift the focus and avoid victim-blaming – avoid speaking to someone who is impacted by Domestic and Family Violence as if they are to blame for the situation. This includes avoiding questions like “why didn’t you leave?”. It is important to park any judgement about their situation or choices as this may make them feel worse.

Words matter – consider the things you say, and avoid language that may be threatening or condone aggressive behaviour.

Speak up and discourage abusive behaviours – if you hear someone behaving inappropriately, either call it out and let them know you don’t like the way they are speaking or report the matter to your HR business partner.

Avoid stereotypes – Domestic and Family Violence can happen to anyone – it does not discriminate.

Whilst we encourage employees to understand Domestic and Family Violence and lean in to support impacted colleagues, it is important to remember that your safety is paramount.

Please maintain healthy boundaries as follows:

• • Avoid situations that may put you at risk
  • Lean in with empathy, rather than rescuing a person who is impacted. This may mean being there for a confidential and compassionate conversation or guiding them to specialist support services such as 1800 RESPECT or www.1800respect.org.au
  • Reach out for support if you are struggling via our EAP partner AccessEAP.  Contact AccessEAP for free and confidential advice. If you are impacted by Domestic and Family Violence, the team at AccessEAP are here to help.